By Monica Rubio
I have been living in the United States for a short time and a few months ago I had the great news that my husband and I were going to become parents at the beginning of next year. One of the aspects that has been most difficult for me about this pregnancy, apart from all the surprises included for being the first time, is living outside of Mexico.
Before continuing, it is important to clarify that my experience does not represent the reality of many other pregnant women who live outside of Mexico and that for many the situation could have been completely reversed. I just want to take advantage of this space to share what I have learned so that someone who is going through something similar to me can feel accompanied.
I admit that initially I had the expectation that the experience could be better than in Mexico due to the difference in technology and medical advances in both countries. Finally, how many Mexican women and other countries travel to the United States just to have their babies.
However, after six months of pregnancy in this country, I conclude that they are two very different things. One is the monitoring of a pregnancy for nine months and another very different is the moment of giving birth. And although traveling from abroad to have your babies in the United States has its own challenges and lessons, you are only living the second experience.
In my case, without having yet given birth to my baby, these months of pregnancy in this country have taught me a lot. It's definitely not the experience I was expecting. It doesn't mean it's wrong, it just means that the expectation created in my mind was based on anecdotes of pregnancies of people close to me, under circumstances more familiar to what I knew. And like any new situation, with a learning curve and full of setbacks, this one was difficult for me and I had no choice but to adapt.
Starting from the moment I found out I was pregnant and wanted to verify it with a blood test to be completely sure, I found that it was not a very common practice. In fact, the gynecologist's office I had chosen did not give me an appointment until I was eight weeks pregnant. For whatever right or wrong reasons behind such a policy, I had no choice but to inform myself about the care and supplements I needed to have for those first weeks. In retrospect, they were very obvious and easy things to find, but being my first time I was so afraid to water it and all I was looking for was for the doctor to tell me what to do and what not to do.
One of the most important differences that I experienced in both medical systems is the personalized attention of the doctors. From being used to communicating at any time of the day by WhatsApp with my gynecologist in Monterrey, I started sending emails through a medical app that is answered by the staff at my gynecologist's office. The same thing happens in face-to-face consultations. While in Mexico you have the doctor's full attention during the vast majority of the appointment, in the United States the doctor relies on his team for much of the consultation and is present to conclude or review the exams.
Another big topic that was difficult for me personally to understand was health insurance. The United States is governed by health insurance and basically the insurance company you have limits or gives you access to doctors, hospitals, treatments, etc. For example, in my first trimester they offered and suggested doing a genetic test on the baby to find out if she had any atypical condition. Since I was under 35 years old, and this type of condition occurs mainly in people above this age, the test was not included with the insurance and had to be paid separately. When I agreed to the test they gave me an estimate of the cost but the true total, which was more than $500 dollars, I did not receive until weeks after I had had it done. Although the amount may be very subject to each person's perspective, undoubtedly the fact of confusion throughout your pregnancy process that it is included, and that it is not, is what makes the issue of medical visits and tests more tedious.
Compared to the private medical system in Mexico, insurance plays a less important role since doctors and laboratories have more flexibility and you have the option of being able to quote with different places to compare prices and times and adjust to what suits you best.
In the end, something that helped me a lot was surrounding myself with women who were going through or had gone through this same situation abroad, and especially in the area of New York where I live, to resolve my doubts and concerns. In fact, many of these women had had similar situations and the tips were precisely to prevent the same thing from happening to others. Many recommendations were from Mexican gynecologists and pediatricians or doctors who simply offered a little more care.
I believe that the key to being able to handle experiences that do not meet our expectations is adaptation. My recommendation for someone who is going through a similar situation is to learn as much as you can from the experiences of other people similar to the one you are living through, let go of expectations and adapt to reality with a good attitude in order to enjoy something as beautiful like your first pregnancy.
I have been living in the United States for a short time and a few months ago I had the great news that my husband and I were going to become parents at the beginning of next year. One of the aspects that has been most difficult for me about this pregnancy, apart from all the surprises included for being the first time, is living outside of Mexico.
Before continuing, it is important to clarify that my experience does not represent the reality of many other pregnant women who live outside of Mexico and that for many the situation could have been completely reversed. I just want to take advantage of this space to share what I have learned so that someone who is going through something similar to me can feel accompanied.
I admit that initially I had the expectation that the experience could be better than in Mexico due to the difference in technology and medical advances in both countries. Finally, how many Mexican women and other countries travel to the United States just to have their babies.
However, after six months of pregnancy in this country, I conclude that they are two very different things. One is the monitoring of a pregnancy for nine months and another very different is the moment of giving birth. And although traveling from abroad to have your babies in the United States has its own challenges and lessons, you are only living the second experience.
In my case, without having yet given birth to my baby, these months of pregnancy in this country have taught me a lot. It's definitely not the experience I was expecting. It doesn't mean it's wrong, it just means that the expectation created in my mind was based on anecdotes of pregnancies of people close to me, under circumstances more familiar to what I knew. And like any new situation, with a learning curve and full of setbacks, this one was difficult for me and I had no choice but to adapt.
Starting from the moment I found out I was pregnant and wanted to verify it with a blood test to be completely sure, I found that it was not a very common practice. In fact, the gynecologist's office I had chosen did not give me an appointment until I was eight weeks pregnant. For whatever right or wrong reasons behind such a policy, I had no choice but to inform myself about the care and supplements I needed to have for those first weeks. In retrospect, they were very obvious and easy things to find, but being my first time I was so afraid to water it and all I was looking for was for the doctor to tell me what to do and what not to do.
One of the most important differences that I experienced in both medical systems is the personalized attention of the doctors. From being used to communicating at any time of the day by WhatsApp with my gynecologist in Monterrey, I started sending emails through a medical app that is answered by the staff at my gynecologist's office. The same thing happens in face-to-face consultations. While in Mexico you have the doctor's full attention during the vast majority of the appointment, in the United States the doctor relies on his team for much of the consultation and is present to conclude or review the exams.
Another big topic that was difficult for me personally to understand was health insurance. The United States is governed by health insurance and basically the insurance company you have limits or gives you access to doctors, hospitals, treatments, etc. For example, in my first trimester they offered and suggested doing a genetic test on the baby to find out if she had any atypical condition. Since I was under 35 years old, and this type of condition occurs mainly in people above this age, the test was not included with the insurance and had to be paid separately. When I agreed to the test they gave me an estimate of the cost but the true total, which was more than $500 dollars, I did not receive until weeks after I had had it done. Although the amount may be very subject to each person's perspective, undoubtedly the fact of confusion throughout your pregnancy process that it is included, and that it is not, is what makes the issue of medical visits and tests more tedious.
Compared to the private medical system in Mexico, insurance plays a less important role since doctors and laboratories have more flexibility and you have the option of being able to quote with different places to compare prices and times and adjust to what suits you best.
In the end, something that helped me a lot was surrounding myself with women who were going through or had gone through this same situation abroad, and especially in the area of New York where I live, to resolve my doubts and concerns. In fact, many of these women had had similar situations and the tips were precisely to prevent the same thing from happening to others. Many recommendations were from Mexican gynecologists and pediatricians or doctors who simply offered a little more care.
I believe that the key to being able to handle experiences that do not meet our expectations is adaptation. My recommendation for someone who is going through a similar situation is to learn as much as you can from the experiences of other people similar to the one you are living through, let go of expectations and adapt to reality with a good attitude in order to enjoy something as beautiful like your first pregnancy.