For some time now I have been thinking about stopping breastfeeding my daughter who just turned 18 months old, but the truth is I am very undecided. Some days I am convinced that it is time and other times I just think “why rush it.”
I have said before that, with my oldest son, Pablo, who is now 3.5 years old, it was super easy. I was convinced that I was only going to breastfeed him for a year. So from before I began to change feedings for formula until he himself, after a year and a month, decided that he no longer wanted to. He refused to breastfeed, he wanted his little glass of milk and so it was.
With my daughter, Martina, the process has been different. My children are a year and 10 months apart from each other, so the truth is that many times things have slipped my mind. With Pablo I really followed the plan I had to stop breastfeeding. With Martina I feel like I've been so busy that the days just go by, and I don't feel like planning it or carrying it out. Although also, deep inside, I have postponed it simply because I am comfortable. Breastfeeding has worked so well for me that a part of me doesn't want to stop breastfeeding. It is the perfect food: it is always available, at the ideal temperature and with all the nutrients they need.
This idea of stopping breastfeeding started because we have a wedding in a couple of weeks, and never in those 18 months has anyone else slept with her. Just me! (which sounds crazy right now that I'm writing it). We are going to take my children with us and we are going to leave them with a babysitter because I don't have any family who can help me take care of them that day. So my biggest fear is that I'm going to cry a lot. One, because he is someone strange and two because he has never wanted to drink a bottle or glass, either with my milk or cow's milk. Honestly, the routine we adopt to get her to go to sleep is quite easy: bath, book, breast and I leave her in the crib to fall asleep. Once I breastfeed her, she stays calm in her crib and falls asleep on her own. But I feel like he's going to cry a lot if he skips the chest part.
So my plan so that, according to me, she won't cry too much, is to start taking her feedings little by little. Talking with my husband, who is completely convinced that I should stop breastfeeding because in his opinion, she is very attached to me, we decided that I am going to express milk and that he is going to try to give it to her in a bottle/glass (let's see what happens). works for us) and put it to sleep.
So, I started pumping, and I was so disappointed, I got like three ounces in half an hour. With Pablo, when I expressed milk, I got about eight ounces in 15 minutes, it was great! So I started taking 3 ounces, 2 ounces, and so on several days, adding up to the day when my husband could give him the bottle with at least 6 ounces.
After about 3 nights of pumping, because during the day I still breastfeed her, my husband takes her to sleep. It was quite a show! She was very, very angry from the beginning that I didn't take her up to her room. My husband began to distract her, he read her like a thousand books until she calmed down. Now it was his turn to give him the bottle, when he gave it to him he threw it and started screaming like never before. My husband put her in the crib and tried to calm her down and in the end she fell asleep. Without eating, but he fell asleep! I just thought that he was going to wake up in two hours all hungry but no, he woke up at the same time, I breastfed him like any normal morning, but yes, he got stuck.
The second and third night, they were a little better. She didn't even want to touch the bottle either day, but she fell asleep very peacefully. He slept perfectly and woke up at the same time as always.
On the fourth day we had a problem, we were out and since it was very hot he spent his time drinking water and at dinner time he didn't eat, absolutely nothing. When it was time to go to sleep, I don't know if it was the right decision, but I put her to sleep, because I knew that she wasn't going to go to sleep or that she was going to wake me up for sure. We did the same thing we did every night, book, chest and crib. I was just crossing my fingers and hoping I hadn't regressed on all the progress we had made.
I tell you that, with Martina, it is very difficult for me to get her to eat. It's not just what she eats, but also how you serve it to her and also that now she wants to do everything herself. If you serve him a piece of toast and he sees that you cut it in half (because I know he's going to take one or two bites and leave it there) No! You have to give it to him in full, otherwise he won't touch it. He leaves it on the plate because you cut it in half. I've been talking to friends about this because the truth is it's costing me a lot and they tell me it's because she's a girl. It makes me laugh a lot, maybe it does!
But well back to the topic. On the fifth day my husband had to go out, and I ended up sleeping. And again, although I offered him the bottle, he wanted mom.
The next day I had an appointment with the pediatrician for her 18-month check-up and they told me that she was losing weight, that she is going down her curve. So after thinking about it and talking to my husband again, we decided that now is not the time to stop breastfeeding. We're going to postpone it a little bit.
Even so, I loved this “exercise” that we did, at least we realized that you can sleep with someone other than your mother, and that you can sleep without me breastfeeding first. What I will do for that day or some other day that I need to go out is: breastfeed him before I leave and advance the feeding. So that she doesn't have problems in case she decides not to have dinner that night, and that the person who puts her to sleep doesn't struggle so much.
Maria